Darling, Where did you get that one-piece?

How shall you be celebrating the welcome deluge of snow this weekend? Many of us will be dusting and removing the dog hairs off our trusty winter capsule wardrobe but perhaps some of you have inherited their families cast offs of ‘vintage’ fashions. What if you want to buy something new for your Snow Date.

Being British, I want a deal. It’s got to have at least “40% off” on the sticker to authenticate the conception. My pre-season days have been endlessly searching the Internet to acquire my dinner conversation deal. The garment specifications were to be bright in color, no patterns, non girly and warm. When said garment arrived, I was horrifically looking at the package to find my ideal palette of green was a garish seductive red. Red! That will never go with my purple pants – it will clash! Immediately I was compiling my complaint letter and moaning, another British trait. The admittance of style (in my eyes) is one I am not ashamed to lay on the table. People may perceive the confidence with colour with fashion as conceited. In my eyes, going skiing is a performance. It lets me becomes an ‘actress’, expressing my creative, vivid, theatrical dress sense. The snow is a shade of white; a blank canvas. For some, winter can be a dull and depressing month but why not parade your personalty within clothes, that reflects warmth and joy?!

So what performance shall you be giving us at Fernie Ski Hill this season? What genre of skier or boarder do you classify yourself as? Nowadays every genre has a sub genre. Brightly colored emo on blades – now that’s an image I would pay to see. Could you be a Tech 9 styled gangster whose baggy ass gets tangled on the button lift? Contrasted with a lover of the cheap and eccentric, clueless of the ability of style, but rip up the mountain into a colorful snowstorm?

If you have no style, or perhaps your wallet is full of last nights beer receipts and lacking paper money, I offer you an easy update to your last year’s ski wear. It involves minimal time, no sewing and you can change it every day if you choose. Artistic requirements are not necessary and your ideas may be endless to what you may create. You only need two items; 1. ski garments, 2. painters tape.

How? Why? I can feel the computer getting warm with questions of this hobby craft activity.
Step 1. Remove jacket or pants from your body.
Step 2. Lay garment onto a flat surface or you may be wearing the garment while a friend performs the procedure…in this case, Step 1 may be skipped.
Step 3. Take masking tape, electrical tape or any coloured tape (note – nothing that is too strong, we don’t want to permanently damage your clothes).
Step 4. Create words, shapes, patterns on your garments. It’s theatrical, remember. Play on words will always get you noticed on the hill.
Step 5. Wear and show off your customised, one-off piece.

I would love to see your efforts and achievements. Don’t contact me, I shall find you. I want to see a big effort on the hill this year! We have the legendary snow so let’s become the legends of fashion as well. Now be safe this opening weekend. Putting on thermals and ski pants can be a hazardous arrangement.

Alex Cvijovic


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