I’ve been going to the gym every other day and every other day I try and talk myself out of it. It’s a little ridiculous. Every time I go, I feel really good and never regret going – which is probably the thought that gets me to the gym in the end.
I’m not sure this need to not go to the gym will ever go away. It’s chronic. I think of myself when I was a child and I was very good at getting out of things, even century long church traditions, I still found a way to get around it. I didn’t really have a job as a kid and I barely did homework. Instead, I played a lot of video games, read many books and made large construction paper scenes. Let’s put it this way, I’d rather take pictures on a hike and only get half way than hike to the top of a mountain. I bet the view is beautiful from up there, though, and I would take a picture of it.
Just wanted to check in with you and let you know I’m still lazy but I’m still going to the gym. It’s the way I am, I guess. I’m going to try and embrace it.
Did you know there are an endless amounts of videos on youtube that you can watch at the gym and they just tell you what to do and then you do it. They even tell you you’re doing great! And I’m thinking “How do they even know?!” but it’s been a game changer for me. I used to go in and do a few things that made me sweat and kind of worked my body a bit, but these videos, they’re perfect for late night visits when the gym is empty and I can blast these videos on high and really focus. I’m not interested in attending classes at a certain time with lots of people. So, hey, this is a great alternative for people like me.
or if you want something a little more fun…
Can you picture me actually doing that? I can. It’s not pretty.
Nine of us traveled to Whitefish for a biking bachelorette weekend this past weekend and I was the only one who didn’t bike. It wasn’t a hard decision for me as I still have no feeling in most of my foot and if I do too much my leg gets super achy and I’m just a little tired of achy. So I stayed back and did some swimming and hot tubbing and a bit of walking, which was really good because I’m supposed to be walking on an incline, good for the stiffness, and I haven’t been.
I’m okay with being the oddball in a group. I’m getting good at being that person. I like that everyone has accepted this part of me. I had no grief for it, although I had a great excuse, but I feel as though if I had not broken my leg this wonderful group of bike crazy women would have been very cool with me not participating (to my face). I love that.
Every person on this beautiful planet has highs and lows in their life. I know that. The highs are so great. I feel like I’m on top of the world and I want to stay at the peak because that’s where it’s easiest and most refreshing. A recent high for me was when I was sitting in the park with a friend and our children played blissfully together while we discussed various interesting topics. The topics aren’t important. The moment was.
But if every moment was like that, would I still find time to do the things I know I need to do that aren’t easy and refreshing? I know I personally need a little meditative time in every day and I don’t do it. Only when I have a challenging day do I think “Stop what you’re doing and do something for yourself.” I’d like to stop myself every day…how do I do that without having a challenge push me to make changes? Is a 30 day challenge the answer? Is there something else stopping me from doing the things I need to do for myself? Am I just lazy? Nah. I’m 92.378% sure I’m not lazy.
I think everybody’s “needs” are different. Your balance is my chaos. I believe in working very hard and breaking hard. I think the things we are told and taught are to be questioned. Sometimes I get caught up in other people’s needs and beliefs and I set my own to the side. Did I just answer my own question?
Well, after a recent accident and turning an age that I was a little fearful of, I’m once again dipping a little and I’m making some changes in my life. Gotta love those dips! I just hope I keep it up no matter how high or low I feel.
Is it strange that I share these little personal thoughts on a public website? I’m not really sure why I do it but I think it’s something I just need to do. So I do.
That should be my mantra.
“Sooooooo Ieeeeeeee Doooooooooo”
In a way, breaking my leg in January allowed me to be as lazy as I wanted for a short amount of time. I had no responsibilities! Not one. Other than to heal, drink water, take my meds and put on a brave face when visitors come by. In the beginning, my leg felt like it was about to exploded for a few weeks.. Literally, it felt like the pressure was so great my leg was going to POP and all my bones, muscles and blood would paint every wall in my room….and then there’s the intense pins and needles. It’s not fun.
Imagine having no responsibilities, though. I didn’t even have to get my own coffee. After over 5 years of having little dependents and being a mom, a wife, a friend, a person with disappointments, failings, successes, hopes, dreams and then all of a sudden I didn’t have to think about any of that.
It was amazing.
I feel bad having enjoyed a little part of the nightmare of breaking my leg. I also hated it. But that goes for most things. Doesn’t’ it?
Of course, when I got the chance to be independent, I jumped (slowly crutched) on it. To have to rely on people to come by and make sure you’ve had a meal, it’s not something I’m used to. I used to take great pride in my ability to handle things on my own. Now I understand the power of plenty.
I’m back on my feet, No cast. I’m glad for the rest. I’m also glowing just thinking about getting back to my family, successes, hopes, dreams and disappointments.
I did my first twenty minute run on a treadmill, which is so much easier than running outdoors on a trail, but I’m still claiming a twenty minute run victory. I did it and I was so proud of myself. You know what I love about a treadmill? You can watch tv! I give credit to Bob’s Burgers for getting me past the 15 minute mark. It was also nice being at Vitality where I was alone and there were no bears to think about.
One of my greatest fears, since moving to Fernie, is running into a bear – especially, a hungry, scared bear. Last night I went for a run with my running partner and we saw a bear saunter down an adjacent pathway. My friend and I looked at one another and our jaws dropped because it was casually walking away from where we just were. What if?! is what our lowered jaws were saying.
We try and stick to well used pathways and my huffing and puffing most likely tips the bears off to our whereabouts but STILL I really wish bears had a bedtime or wore bells so we could hear them. Wouldn’t that be lovely?
I do understand being scared of bears is not the right attitude but you hear too many stories and you just hope that you aren’t going to encounter that one bear that acts unpredictably.
Don’t you worry about us though. We’ve already decided that, if we do run into a bear, I will jump on my friend’s shoulders and be big, loud and dominant with it and direct the confused bear in the direction of some berries. We’ll be fine!